I often hear people say, “This was so unexpected!”, and “The timing for this is all wrong!”. But who really ever expects cancer to rear it’s ugly head? And when would the timing for that be okay? My mother, lovingly known as Bubby, found a small lump in her breast a year ago. Her main doctor, Dr. Adleman, sent us to a very special oncologist, Dr. Mena. Dr. Mena has to be the kindest, most caring, and most knowledgeable doctor I’ve ever met. He is a homeopath and doesn’t rush into surgery. In the last year he and my mother have formed a wonderfully loving relationship. And to top it off, besides the very expensive chocolates he gives her every time she visits, he makes her feel special. Why wouldn’t she love him? After many tests, he found a male hormone that worked on her tumor and things were fine for a long time. Unexpectedly, my mother’s breast cancer started to grow again. She felt pain recently for the first time in a long time, and we rushed her in for a sonogram. The results showed that the cancer was indeed growing but luckily for us the pain is successfully being controlled with Advil. My mother also has a rapidly growing cancer on her face. We were in the process of deciding to either have it removed or radiated when the pain in her breast started bothering her. We will be going back to Dr. Mena this week to see what can be done about it but, my mind is filled with sorrow that this will probably be the last year my mother is with us.
What do you do with a realization like that? Well, I plan to fill this year with wonderful times for and with my mother. Not that I haven’t done that all these many years we’ve shared, but this one will be as celebrated as if every day is the last. Most of the time my husband and I are worn out at the end of the day so the three of us usually had dinner watching a movie in the living room. Now we are back to eating dinner at the dinning table and talking with my mom. She is loving it and has all kinds of stories to share with us. The facts of her stories aren’t always correct, but she comes alive telling them and we all get a lot of laughs from what is shared.
I’m putting a lot of things on the back burner for a while so we can do more together. I’m not forgetting about my career. I’m just being very careful about time management. I’ve planned for this a long time but, the threat of two cancers on a hundred and two year old gives me the feeling that her time is drawing near.
I’ve noticed that if we are happy and keep a joyful, loving attitude my mom is fine. She even talks about the cancer leaving her body just as easily as it came in. I’m for that! When people are enjoying their lives the opportunity for healing really is there. So, I open myself to miracles every day and join my mother in her knowing this can happen for her. No matter what age she is.