A JOKE FROM THE UNIVERSE  OR – My world is not always filled with positive people.   ….  My first long blog, but I had to.

29 Jun

I woke up feeling great as I do most mornings. Had my energy drink, checked my emails and went off to do a private class on Change Your Thinking Change Your Body. I came home wrote some interesting pages in my book in progress and gathered some things in the garage I was going to give away. I was feeling very productive. Plus I had done two heavy workouts and a jazz class in the past three days. I decided to take a drive to the Encino gym because it’s the only one close to me that still has a steam room.  Jeff said he’d keep an eye on Bubby for me and to go enjoy. I was so looking forward to relaxing alone in the steam room. Usually there was hardly ever anyone in there.

I should have known it was going to be a different experience when I tried fill my water bottle up before I went in.  The water wouldn’t rise up more that a half inch and it was impossible to get hardly any water in there. I managed to get some though and I placed it on the floor outside the steam room so it would stay cool. Entering I noticed there was no one else in there. I was excited once again for the relaxation I was about to feel. I got comfortable on the top row and drew in a breath. The door opened and she walked in. She who god had sent to try my patience. She who would choose to sit right under me, almost on top of me, when the whole room was empty. She who started in with, “Hello.” “It’s just a hello,” I thought. I should be polite. I answered with a short hello back hoping it would end there. “You are from Israel”? She asked continuing to talk to me. “No” I replied. I figured keeping it short might end it. “Where from you are?” Okay, I thought, this is not going to end, and English is not really her language. Maybe if I fill her with all the info she wants she’ll leave me alone. I sat up and blurted out, “I’m from New York. My father was born in Russia but came here when he was a baby. So he was really an American. I am first-born American, and I came to California when I was a teenager, so even though you can take the girl out of New York you can’t take the New York out of the girl. But I’m really a Californian, and my kids were born here so they are truly Californian’s.” There, I thought. That ought to give her enough to think about. But without skipping a beat she said, “What about your mother?” Seriously? Help! I told her my mother was from Brooklyn, then the Bronx and then I told her I had to go to the toilet.

I waited a few minutes and went back in. She was gone, but not for long. Again she sat almost on top of me. “You have beautiful body.” I had to say thank you, but then that meant I was talking to her again. “You have children?” Yes I have two children from the uterine canal and four stepchildren.” Of course it was a wasted joke. “What is uterine? I tried to explain the joke, and finally I think she might have gotten it. Then I had to explain what is stepchildren. By now we were best friends so I guess she didn’t feel strange holding up her luffa glove and saying, “You luffa my back”? At that moment, what went through my mind was, “are you fucking kidding me?” She had to be kidding! But she wasn’t. After all we were best friends now. In that moment I thought of how my wonderful husband Jeff rubs my feet in our Jacuzzi all the time and how good my life is, and I thought I’ll do something nice for someone I don’t even know, and also maybe if I do this she’ll leave. So I did it, and she did leave. When I shared this story with Jeff, he said, “wow, nice someone reaped the benefits of my making you feel good!”

I relaxed and felt blessed to finally be alone, relaxing, feeling my body enjoying the steam…and then another she walked in. Thank god this one sat at the other end of the room. All was good I couldn’t even see her… and then … she started to speak, “Oy what a week I’ve had, I sold my house and then the social worker came and wanted money, my dog bit someone and he wants money, I think I’m getting sick or something. I’m so bloated. “Are you kidding me!”? I didn’t even realize it came out of my mouth out loud.  “What?”  She said looking at me. The steam was starting to clear. I was loving but I let her have it ranting with love. “Ya know everything that happens in your life is for your highest and best and for your growth as a human being. Everything in life is a choice. A thing is what it is and it’s how you react to it that shapes your life. If you want to know what you’re thinking look around you.  I teach Change Your Thinking, Change Your Body but some people need to change their thinking so they can change their life. I have to pee.”  I got up and walked out. As I left I heard her say “Don’t forget to drink water dehydration can kill you”.  I laughed all the way home.